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Last Call at the 7-Eleven

Fine Dining at 2 A.M., The Search for Spandex People, and Other Reasons to Go On Living

ebook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

The country might be going to hell in a hand-basket, but don't close the garage doors and sit there with the engine running until you read this collection of sardonic, off-the-wall pieces on modern life by one of America's best humorists. Described as "another Dave Barry, only with a lot less going for him," Baltimore Sun columnist Kevin Cowherd sizzles as he tackles such loopy subjects as:

- Larry King's interview with God ("El Paso, Texas, you're on the air with the Almighty . . ."

- Fine dining at a 7-Eleven at 2 a.m. ("Moving briskly past the Test-Your-Blood-Pressure machine and the Hormel chili section, we arrive at the rack of Slim Jims.")

- $20 million lottery winners who insist on keeping their jobs ("Oh yeah, I'll be back at Mr. Tire first thing in the morning.")

- The joys of backyard wiffleball ("Wiffleball is for anyone willing to shrug off a full speed collision with a tool shed and six months of subsequent blackouts just to snare a grounder up the middle.")

- Thanksgiving dinner with Howard Stern ("Yo, sweetie, pass the cranberry sauce. What are you, stupid? Only a friggin' moron would pass the mashed potatoes when I asked for the cranberry sauce.")

- Modest people looking for love in the personals ("5-foot-9 guy with spare tire, bags under his eyes, not much of a chin, looks like your grocer, seeks woman.").

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 30, 1995
      Cowherd, a humor columnist for the Baltimore Sun, here collects 75 of his columns on topics ranging from ``Rich, Famous and Dead,'' through ``The Non-Renaissance Man'' (about the wages of repairmen and the avoidance of household chores) to ``Fun & Games in the '90s'' (about the difficulty of discerning the appropriate restroom for each sex). At his best as a parodist, Cowherd is witty on topics like looking for love in personal ads, or seeking advice from Dear Abby. He is less funny when he turns to whimsy, as in ``Mosquitoes Ride Again.'' The dozens of black-and-gray blobs throughout the text, which look like Rorschach samples, are neither decorative nor amusing.

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Languages

  • English

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